The days leading up to Echo's delivery I would feel contractions, mostly braxton hicks with no real pain, especially at night but it would always calm down and nothing would happen. I also felt lots of downward pressure. One night, about a week before he was born I woke up at 2 with what felt like contractions and mild/moderate pain. Went to the bathroom and the pain continued. I woke Jake up, sat on the exercise ball, started timing contractions. I was so surprised at how fast and sudden they were. They were coming every 3 minutes or so and were painful. We called the hospital and our friends. The hospital said we could come in to get checked. We decided to wait until our friends arrived to see how things were going. Then everything calmed down and that was that. Our friend Jared stayed the night and nothing happened. He also stayed in our guest apartment the next night just in case. Still no baby.
I had a midwife appointment two days before my due date and I was hoping for some progress but nothing. I wasn't dilated and she couldn't do a membrane sweep because it wasn't possible to get to the membrane. My belly was still measuring small (measuring 32 cm (equal to 32 weeks) at 40 weeks which was the same measurement I was at 2.5 weeks earlier). She brought in another midwife to check me and then referred me for a weight check ultrasound. The heart rate was also 125ish when it had been higher 140/150 for the rest of the pregnancy. That made me nervous and I felt defeated in general.
I called the midwife back to ask more questions about the heart rate and the ultrasound check to see if I could get in before the weekend (it was Thursday). She reassured me that the heart rate dropping towards the end of pregnancy was fine. She also suggested that I call the ultrasound clinic to get a time instead of waiting for a letter with a time and date for the appointment. So I called the ultrasound clinic and through tears, I tried to explain that I wanted an appointment and she tried to calm me down by saying that they just got the referral minutes before đŸ™ˆ. I got an appointment for the next day (Friday, Aug 21st, 1 day before my due date) at 10.
The weight check appointment went well. Echo was measuring about 3700 g (8 lbs 2 oz) and everything looked great. The weekend came and went.
Labor & Delivery
On Monday, Aug 24th around 4 am I started having some contractions. They were every 10ish minutes and I could mostly sleep through them. I timed them for a little and then tried to get some sleep. Around 9/10 that morning they were still hanging around which is usually when they'd died down the last few days. We hesitantly messaged our friends to give them a heads up and to let Echo either calm down which had happened in the past or keep going with the contractions.
I tried hanging/pulling on a rope from the exercise bar that Jake has. I had read that if you are pulling/hanging on something it is hard to also keep your pelvic floor tight so it helps you to stay relaxed if you are pulling on something. After that and some more ball bouncing, I got in the bathtub for a little while.
Around 1530 I called the hospital, Karolinska Solna, as contractions were getting closer together. They said I could come in to get checked. I had actually called them 3 times total over the last day to decide when it was time to go in. It is funny that even the third time through labor I was still afraid I'd miss it and be farther along than I realized before going in and therefore not be able to get an epidural. Trust me, you can't miss actual labor.
In Sweden, you register at the hospital you'd like to give birth at and then when you are in labor you call them to make sure they have room for you. If they don't they'll send you to another hospital in town. I delivered at my registered hospital for Linnea (Danderyd) and Otto (Karolinska) but not Stella. I had registered at Danderyd but they were full so we were sent to Karolinska and loved our midwives there. I went on my own in a taxi while Jake waited for our friend to come to get the girls. He wouldn't be able to go in with me right away anyway so I figured this would cut down on his waiting time at the hospital.
I got to the hospital and was in a room within minutes. They hooked me up to a monitor and did an exam. I was only 3 cm dilated and my cervix was still 2 cm long. I was monitored for 30 minutes and then told to go on a walk outside the hospital for an hour or two until things picked up since my contractions were only coming every 10 minutes according to the monitor which means they slowed down a little bit. Because of COVID I am not allowed to walk the halls so the best they can do is send you out of the hospital. At 1730, Jake met me outside with our bag and the baby car seat and we walked and then decided to grab dinner.
They did a COVID test, swab up my nose, which really wasn't bad and they put in an IV which was awful. I have bad veins. The one in my hand didn't work after lots of prodding and the one in my arm was really painful. I cried out in a different kind of pain from the IV and the midwife acknowledged that it was her hurting me and not the contractions. They hooked me up to a monitor and I tried breathing through contractions. I was WAY better at that this time around. It helped that I didn't have back labor like I did with Linnea.
Another noteworthy thing, no one was wearing masks. I wasn't required to wear one and none of the midwives did either. I asked what would happen if my test came back positive and they said probably nothing because the midwives that were with me already had the antibodies so they weren't concerned about it. Definitely different than the US. I'm just really thankful I didn't have to labor with a mask on!
Our midwives were Anna and Anja and they were both excellent. I was their only patient so they were there pretty often unless we were resting. Anna saw in my birth journal from Stella's birth that she helped me during postpartum with Stella 2.5 years ago. Throughout the contractions, Jake pushed in on my knees to help relieve the pain. The midwife did this and he took over once he got there. It was definitely helpful.
There was a midwife change and now we had Karin and Lillian who started around 2140. I got some food (they allow you to eat during labor as long as things are looking good but will withhold food if labor might be heading towards a c-section which is what happened with Linnea's labor) and Jake napped. I slept from 22-23. At 23 I was checked and I was 5 cm dilated. They decided to break my water since my contractions had slowed down a bit. I also got another epidural dose because I could start feeling them again.
An hour later, at midnight, I was fully dilated so I made quick progress. Five centimeters in one hour and so thankful I didn't have to feel all of those contractions. After I was fully dilated I waited for the pushing sensation. I switched between being on all fours and on my left side and right side.
Around 230 the midwives came in and said they wanted me to try pushing after I went pee. Well, my epidural had traveled down far enough that I couldn't figure out how to pee. So they used a catheter to drain my bladder to give me as much room as possible for the baby to come out. I started pushing at 240 laying on my left side. I had been practicing using my ab muscles throughout my pregnancy to hopefully help the pushing stage go faster than it did with Linnea and Stella (they were over an hour of pushing each). I had heard that 'purple pushing' where you hold your breath isn't great for your pelvic floor even though it is very effective. I was encouraged to hold my breath while I pushed which I wasn't thrilled about. Thankfully Jake encouraged me to speak up about it and I tried it my way a few times but she said I had more strength while holding my breath. I also wanted something to pull on while I pushed because that was supposed to help keep my pelvic floor relaxed. And guess what, there was a handle that popped up on the side of the bed right where I needed one.
My epidural had traveled down far enough that I couldn't feel any of the pushing. No ring of fire this time. This was both good and bad. I didn't like feeling it with Stella but at least I could somewhat control my pushing. This time I was pushing blind. After about 20 minutes the internal heart rate monitor stopped working so they sent another midwife in to put a monitor on my belly which made pushing a little more awkward. I felt Echo's head so I knew it was getting close. Then the next thing I know Echo is out in one push. I'm always in disbelief when they say one more push especially this time since I had literally just started pushing. I also realized Echo came out and I didn't have an episiotomy. With Linnea and Stella their heads came out first and then the next push was their body. This time Echo came out all at once. As they brought Echo to my chest Jake said 'He is here.' and I said he? Yep! Echo was a boy and he arrived at 3:03 am.
I delivered the placenta 20 minutes later or so which I didn't feel other than them pushing on my belly. We did get to look at the placenta which is really cool! I couldn't believe we had a boy. He was on my chest and crying and I tried to just soak in those newborn moments. Jake cut the cord and I did skin to skin with Echo for 2 hours. That is the norm in Sweden. As soon as the baby is born you do skin to skin for 2 hours before they take the baby to weigh and measure him. I did have to get just a couple of stitches but I did not have an episiotomy like I did with both girls which resulted in lots of stitches so I was really happy to hear that. It made me think all the pelvic floor relaxing moves I did really paid off. TMI ahead so skip to the next paragraph if you want. I asked Jake later on about what the midwife was doing when I was pushing. He said she was using lube and stretching me after each push to help get the head out. I had no idea but it definitely helped.
As per birth day tradition, I threw up about an hour after he was born. I did the same thing with Linnea. With Stella, I threw up the morning I was in labor because I took pain meds on an empty stomach. Throwing up right after giving birth is not fun but it was short-lived and then we moved on. We got after birth fika delivered and called our parents to tell them that Echo had arrived. I messaged several friends in the states who were still up. It was fun laboring in the middle of the night but still having a support team awake and cheering me on. They moved us to our room around 5 am and we tried to get some sleep.
The two midwives who delivered Echo. The one on the left was the head midwife.
After delivery fika!
4:21 am and happy!
The hospital does not give you much for your aftercare. You need to bring blankets and swaddles for the baby. They do provide diapers and there was a small package of wipes. In Sweden, they often use square napkin like things that you wet with water versus regular wipes. For me, I was given mesh underwear (sexy), huge pads, slightly smaller pads and that is it. If you want a peri bottle you need to bring your own (and I did - one similar to the new Frida Mama one which has an angled spout).
As soon as we walked into the room Jake fell on the bed and didn't move for over an hour and then actually got in the bed and went to sleep. Apparently, he was tired. I held Echo and fed him and slept while holding him for a bit. He had his vitals checked at 9. They checked his oxygen level in his hand and foot. Apparently, if there is a difference in the readings then they know to look for cardiac issues. They also counted his breathing because there was some poop in the water which could cause issues for him plus I had group b strep which could also cause issues with him.
We called the girls in the morning so they could meet Echo. It was really sweet.
Then we spent the day snuggling, feeding, taking a nice long shower and sleeping. We ate breakfast which Jake got from the parent room and then later he picked lunch and dinner from a menu including dessert. I think it is interesting that they tested me for COVID but the dads are the ones walking the hallways getting breakfast, lunch and dinner. My food was included but Jake had to pay about $9 per meal. It was so quiet and nice spending the day at the hospital.
That night we swaddled Echo to get some sleep. He did pretty well but I also held him a little. My bed was a hospital bed which was adjustable but Jake's wasn't so he had a harder time holding him while in bed. The next morning they told us we could go home that morning. They needed the room and we actually stayed longer than some second/third time moms usually do especially during COVID but that was mostly because of the group b strep and the poop in the water. He got checked by the pediatrician and we headed home right around lunch.
We ate lunch at home and tried to get settled before Jake went to pick up the girls. He ended up staying with the girls and eating dinner with our friends. It was nice being at home with just Echo before the chaos started!
It's so crazy that you just walk out with a baby. No one even making sure you know what you are doing. And thanks to our social insurance we signed zero papers and paid $42 total for the entire birth and prenatal care.
We had to rate the hospital experience before leaving and I gave it 10 out of 10. It was great. I felt well cared for during delivery and postpartum. We had midwives there to help if we had questions about nursing or whatever but we also had privacy and our own room and our own bathroom. COVID complicated things a bit but not much. I did find out I tested negative for COVID.
Two guys took this picture above. I think they thought we were tourists until they realized we just had a baby. Echo was 36 hours old in this picture. Anyway, they asked what his name was and we said, "We're thinking about Otto" and they said Oat-toe (Swedish pronunciation) and said it was a great name!
Once the girls got home they washed their hands, changed their clothes, and then sat on the sofa waiting for Echo and me to come out and greet them. Echo screamed during most of the meeting but the girls didn't seem to mind.
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