It has been a LONG time since I wrote a blog post so I hope I remember how to do it. And I hope I can do it each month like I did for the girls. #thirdkidproblems (Seeing as Otto is 2 months old and I haven't posted a one month blog it isn't looking good buddy but I'll try to play catch up!)
We became a family of five on August 25th, 2020 in the middle of a pandemic. And here I thought the 3rd pregnancy should be 'easy' since I'd done it twice before. Ha!
I really thought I'd go into labor before Echo's due date. I was 4 days late with Linnea and one day early with Stella so I figured I'd be a few days early with Echo (Otto's nickname when I was pregnant).
Prenatal Update
6 Days before his arrival
Overall, my pregnancy with Echo was really good. Possibly the best out of all 3. It was easier when I was pregnant with Linnea (Baker) because if I was sick or tired Jake could just chill by himself. If I was sick or tired during this pregnancy he had two kiddos to look after so that was definitely harder on him. The last trimester of this pregnancy was probably my best. I didn't feel like I had to slow down until week 37. That is when I felt like things were relaxing more in my hips and pelvis when I walked and my walking speed really slowed down at that point.
Before getting pregnant this third time around Jake and I made an agreement that I would prioritize working out/staying in shape for this pregnancy. It feels silly saying that. It isn't like my goal was to get super ripped. The main goal was to make sure I continued to do ab and back exercises so I could walk, pick up the girls, etc and not be in the amount of pain I was in while pregnant with Stella. It definitely worked. My workouts were short (20-30 minutes) usually 2-3 times per week and not strenuous at all. The main focus was on engaging my TVA (transverse abdominal muscles). I followed several accounts on Instagram (Good for the Swole,Deliciously Fit and Healthy, The Belle Method) and bought a prenatal workout program and a subscription follow-along program to help keep me on the right track. At 34/35 weeks I started focusing on relaxing my pelvic floor which I think was key during delivery. More on that later!
Echo moving around!
Another thing we focused on during this pregnancy was my postpartum mental health. With Linnea and Stella, I think I had some postpartum rage which is something I hadn't ever heard of until after I was mostly over it with Stella. I've never had a hard time attaching to our kids and I didn't ever cry a lot so I assumed I was fine. However, when I'm nursing (10-14 months after birth) I can get easily irritated, have very little patience, and get easily annoyed with little things, and most of the time it is directed towards Jake (for some it is towards their kids). We used to just joke that he was more annoying while I was nursing and then was less annoying when I stopped. Then one day I saw something about postpartum rage on Instagram and thought, yep! I totally had that! So knowing this I talked to my midwife about what I could do this time around to be more proactive. She suggested I contact my primary care physician (vĂ¥rdcentral) to make an appointment for therapy or seek out family counseling.
I had my first therapy appointment when Otto was 9 weeks old and it was really great. This postpartm period already seemed better before the appointment but I went anyway and I'm glad I did. She recommended some breathing exercises, for me to keep a worry journal and for me to exercise hard enough that I was breathless. I hadn't been breathless for a workout in a LONG time. So I went running that afternoon and it was really, really good.
It helped a ton to just know what I had before was a real postpartum issue and for Jake and I to talk about it openly. Sleep is a major factor for me as well. I like to sleep and need more sleep than Jake so when he would give up his sleep by staying up late or getting up early I'd get really frustrated. All I wanted was a full night's sleep and he was giving that up which caused lots of resentment. So this time around he isn't staying up super late (later than me) or getting up super early until I can sleep through the night. Some women ask their partners to give up alcohol during pregnancy, I just need him to not give up sleep.
I loved my cookie shelf!
I really wanted to capture my pregnant belly this last time around. Our bodies are amazing.
This belly hugging move might look really weird but it made a huge difference in my overall health this pregnancy. Engaging my deep core muscles helped my back and abs stay strong so I wasn't in pain which was fantastic!
I'm using the ball to remind myself to keep my pelvic floor relaxed which I started doing around 34/35 weeks pregnant.
Echo dropped!
The plan for labor and delivery was that our friends Angela and Jared would take the girls. We were also quarantining and not sending the girls to preschool to keep germs away and to keep Jake healthy so he could be at delivery. If he had a cough or any COVID symptoms he couldn't be there. Plan B was for Angela to be at the delivery with me. I should say, several friends offered to watch the girls which was so great. It is hard being away from family but when friends turn into family it is so very reassuring!
One of our last family of 4 pictures (well I guess 5 if you include Riley).
This is actually the last picture in between contractions.
The days leading up to Echo's delivery I would feel contractions, mostly braxton hicks with no real pain, especially at night but it would always calm down and nothing would happen. I also felt lots of downward pressure. One night, about a week before he was born I woke up at 2 with what felt like contractions and mild/moderate pain. Went to the bathroom and the pain continued. I woke Jake up, sat on the exercise ball, started timing contractions. I was so surprised at how fast and sudden they were. They were coming every 3 minutes or so and were painful. We called the hospital and our friends. The hospital said we could come in to get checked. We decided to wait until our friends arrived to see how things were going. Then everything calmed down and that was that. Our friend Jared stayed the night and nothing happened. He also stayed in our guest apartment the next night just in case. Still no baby.
I was having contractions and Stella was worried about me so we cuddled.
I had a midwife appointment two days before my due date and I was hoping for some progress but nothing. I wasn't dilated and she couldn't do a membrane sweep because it wasn't possible to get to the membrane. My belly was still measuring small (measuring 32 cm (equal to 32 weeks) at 40 weeks which was the same measurement I was at 2.5 weeks earlier). She brought in another midwife to check me and then referred me for a weight check ultrasound. The heart rate was also 125ish when it had been higher 140/150 for the rest of the pregnancy. That made me nervous and I felt defeated in general.
I called the midwife back to ask more questions about the heart rate and the ultrasound check to see if I could get in before the weekend (it was Thursday). She reassured me that the heart rate dropping towards the end of pregnancy was fine. She also suggested that I call the ultrasound clinic to get a time instead of waiting for a letter with a time and date for the appointment. So I called the ultrasound clinic and through tears, I tried to explain that I wanted an appointment and she tried to calm me down by saying that they just got the referral minutes before đŸ™ˆ. I got an appointment for the next day (Friday, Aug 21st, 1 day before my due date) at 10.
The weight check appointment went well. Echo was measuring about 3700 g (8 lbs 2 oz) and everything looked great. The weekend came and went.
Labor & Delivery
On Monday, Aug 24th around 4 am I started having some contractions. They were every 10ish minutes and I could mostly sleep through them. I timed them for a little and then tried to get some sleep. Around 9/10 that morning they were still hanging around which is usually when they'd died down the last few days. We hesitantly messaged our friends to give them a heads up and to let Echo either calm down which had happened in the past or keep going with the contractions.
I tried hanging/pulling on a rope from the exercise bar that Jake has. I had read that if you are pulling/hanging on something it is hard to also keep your pelvic floor tight so it helps you to stay relaxed if you are pulling on something. After that and some more ball bouncing, I got in the bathtub for a little while.
Around 1530 I called the hospital, Karolinska Solna, as contractions were getting closer together. They said I could come in to get checked. I had actually called them 3 times total over the last day to decide when it was time to go in. It is funny that even the third time through labor I was still afraid I'd miss it and be farther along than I realized before going in and therefore not be able to get an epidural. Trust me, you can't miss actual labor.
In Sweden, you register at the hospital you'd like to give birth at and then when you are in labor you call them to make sure they have room for you. If they don't they'll send you to another hospital in town. I delivered at my registered hospital for Linnea (Danderyd) and Otto (Karolinska) but not Stella. I had registered at Danderyd but they were full so we were sent to Karolinska and loved our midwives there. I went on my own in a taxi while Jake waited for our friend to come to get the girls. He wouldn't be able to go in with me right away anyway so I figured this would cut down on his waiting time at the hospital.
I got to the hospital and was in a room within minutes. They hooked me up to a monitor and did an exam. I was only 3 cm dilated and my cervix was still 2 cm long. I was monitored for 30 minutes and then told to go on a walk outside the hospital for an hour or two until things picked up since my contractions were only coming every 10 minutes according to the monitor which means they slowed down a little bit. Because of COVID I am not allowed to walk the halls so the best they can do is send you out of the hospital. At 1730, Jake met me outside with our bag and the baby car seat and we walked and then decided to grab dinner.
Pausing for a contraction.
Do not let this very posed picture fool you.
Laboring in a restaurant is not something I'd recommend. It is mildly/very awkward. I barely ate anything and mostly swayed while standing at our hightop table. We headed back to the hospital at 19 and at this point I had tears in my eyes during several of the contractions on the short walk back to the hospital. It was obvious to the midwife I was having more painful contractions. She checked me again and I was still 3 cm maybe 4 but my cervix was short, only half a centimeter left, so they admitted me which meant Jake was allowed to come up.
They did a COVID test, swab up my nose, which really wasn't bad and they put in an IV which was awful. I have bad veins. The one in my hand didn't work after lots of prodding and the one in my arm was really painful. I cried out in a different kind of pain from the IV and the midwife acknowledged that it was her hurting me and not the contractions. They hooked me up to a monitor and I tried breathing through contractions. I was WAY better at that this time around. It helped that I didn't have back labor like I did with Linnea.
Another noteworthy thing, no one was wearing masks. I wasn't required to wear one and none of the midwives did either. I asked what would happen if my test came back positive and they said probably nothing because the midwives that were with me already had the antibodies so they weren't concerned about it. Definitely different than the US. I'm just really thankful I didn't have to labor with a mask on!
Our midwives were Anna and Anja and they were both excellent. I was their only patient so they were there pretty often unless we were resting. Anna saw in my birth journal from Stella's birth that she helped me during postpartum with Stella 2.5 years ago. Throughout the contractions, Jake pushed in on my knees to help relieve the pain. The midwife did this and he took over once he got there. It was definitely helpful.
This smile is brought to you by my walking epidural! I don't know why these aren't offered in the US. I am VERY thankful I had one for all 3 of my labors.
At 2040, I got the epidural which was fantastic! In Sweden, it is a walking epidural so it only numbs my contractions. I can still walk, feel my legs, use the bathroom, etc. It was put in while I was sitting up (same as it was for Stella). It took a few minutes to take effect and then things were much better! We also realized the midwife who delivered Stella was working right then too and she stopped by to say hi which was so nice!
Yogurt, saft (flavored water), bread with cheese, butter and pepper.
There was a midwife change and now we had Karin and Lillian who started around 2140. I got some food (they allow you to eat during labor as long as things are looking good but will withhold food if labor might be heading towards a c-section which is what happened with Linnea's labor) and Jake napped. I slept from 22-23. At 23 I was checked and I was 5 cm dilated. They decided to break my water since my contractions had slowed down a bit. I also got another epidural dose because I could start feeling them again.
Getting some rest
An hour later, at midnight, I was fully dilated so I made quick progress. Five centimeters in one hour and so thankful I didn't have to feel all of those contractions. After I was fully dilated I waited for the pushing sensation. I switched between being on all fours and on my left side and right side.
Around 230 the midwives came in and said they wanted me to try pushing after I went pee. Well, my epidural had traveled down far enough that I couldn't figure out how to pee. So they used a catheter to drain my bladder to give me as much room as possible for the baby to come out. I started pushing at 240 laying on my left side. I had been practicing using my ab muscles throughout my pregnancy to hopefully help the pushing stage go faster than it did with Linnea and Stella (they were over an hour of pushing each). I had heard that 'purple pushing' where you hold your breath isn't great for your pelvic floor even though it is very effective. I was encouraged to hold my breath while I pushed which I wasn't thrilled about. Thankfully Jake encouraged me to speak up about it and I tried it my way a few times but she said I had more strength while holding my breath. I also wanted something to pull on while I pushed because that was supposed to help keep my pelvic floor relaxed. And guess what, there was a handle that popped up on the side of the bed right where I needed one.
My epidural had traveled down far enough that I couldn't feel any of the pushing. No ring of fire this time. This was both good and bad. I didn't like feeling it with Stella but at least I could somewhat control my pushing. This time I was pushing blind. After about 20 minutes the internal heart rate monitor stopped working so they sent another midwife in to put a monitor on my belly which made pushing a little more awkward. I felt Echo's head so I knew it was getting close. Then the next thing I know Echo is out in one push. I'm always in disbelief when they say one more push especially this time since I had literally just started pushing. I also realized Echo came out and I didn't have an episiotomy. With Linnea and Stella their heads came out first and then the next push was their body. This time Echo came out all at once. As they brought Echo to my chest Jake said 'He is here.' and I said he? Yep! Echo was a boy and he arrived at 3:03 am.
I delivered the placenta 20 minutes later or so which I didn't feel other than them pushing on my belly. We did get to look at the placenta which is really cool! I couldn't believe we had a boy. He was on my chest and crying and I tried to just soak in those newborn moments. Jake cut the cord and I did skin to skin with Echo for 2 hours. That is the norm in Sweden. As soon as the baby is born you do skin to skin for 2 hours before they take the baby to weigh and measure him. I did have to get just a couple of stitches but I did not have an episiotomy like I did with both girls which resulted in lots of stitches so I was really happy to hear that. It made me think all the pelvic floor relaxing moves I did really paid off. TMI ahead so skip to the next paragraph if you want. I asked Jake later on about what the midwife was doing when I was pushing. He said she was using lube and stretching me after each push to help get the head out. I had no idea but it definitely helped.
As per birth day tradition, I threw up about an hour after he was born. I did the same thing with Linnea. With Stella, I threw up the morning I was in labor because I took pain meds on an empty stomach. Throwing up right after giving birth is not fun but it was short-lived and then we moved on. We got after birth fika delivered and called our parents to tell them that Echo had arrived. I messaged several friends in the states who were still up. It was fun laboring in the middle of the night but still having a support team awake and cheering me on. They moved us to our room around 5 am and we tried to get some sleep.
The two midwives who delivered Echo. The one on the left was the head midwife.
After delivery fika!
4:21 am and happy!
The hospital does not give you much for your aftercare. You need to bring blankets and swaddles for the baby. They do provide diapers and there was a small package of wipes. In Sweden, they often use square napkin like things that you wet with water versus regular wipes. For me, I was given mesh underwear (sexy), huge pads, slightly smaller pads and that is it. If you want a peri bottle you need to bring your own (and I did - one similar to the new Frida Mama one which has an angled spout).
As soon as we walked into the room Jake fell on the bed and didn't move for over an hour and then actually got in the bed and went to sleep. Apparently, he was tired. I held Echo and fed him and slept while holding him for a bit. He had his vitals checked at 9. They checked his oxygen level in his hand and foot. Apparently, if there is a difference in the readings then they know to look for cardiac issues. They also counted his breathing because there was some poop in the water which could cause issues for him plus I had group b strep which could also cause issues with him.
We called the girls in the morning so they could meet Echo. It was really sweet.
Then we spent the day snuggling, feeding, taking a nice long shower and sleeping. We ate breakfast which Jake got from the parent room and then later he picked lunch and dinner from a menu including dessert. I think it is interesting that they tested me for COVID but the dads are the ones walking the hallways getting breakfast, lunch and dinner. My food was included but Jake had to pay about $9 per meal. It was so quiet and nice spending the day at the hospital.
Postpartum for pictures (above) vs reality (below)
When you meet your baby it is so funny because you grew them for 9 months but you don't really recognize them yet. But now, seeing his birth pictures 9 weeks later I know him and recognize his little face!
That night we swaddled Echo to get some sleep. He did pretty well but I also held him a little. My bed was a hospital bed which was adjustable but Jake's wasn't so he had a harder time holding him while in bed. The next morning they told us we could go home that morning. They needed the room and we actually stayed longer than some second/third time moms usually do especially during COVID but that was mostly because of the group b strep and the poop in the water. He got checked by the pediatrician and we headed home right around lunch.
His first check with the pediatrician. (I just quickly looked over Stella's birth story and this was the same pediatrician who looked her over. The one who looked at Linnea looked like Vin Diesel but he was at a different hospital.)
We ate lunch at home and tried to get settled before Jake went to pick up the girls. He ended up staying with the girls and eating dinner with our friends. It was nice being at home with just Echo before the chaos started!
It's so crazy that you just walk out with a baby. No one even making sure you know what you are doing. And thanks to our social insurance we signed zero papers and paid $42 total for the entire birth and prenatal care.
We had to rate the hospital experience before leaving and I gave it 10 out of 10. It was great. I felt well cared for during delivery and postpartum. We had midwives there to help if we had questions about nursing or whatever but we also had privacy and our own room and our own bathroom. COVID complicated things a bit but not much. I did find out I tested negative for COVID.
Two guys took this picture above. I think they thought we were tourists until they realized we just had a baby. Echo was 36 hours old in this picture. Anyway, they asked what his name was and we said, "We're thinking about Otto" and they said Oat-toe (Swedish pronunciation) and said it was a great name!
Lunch at home!
Once the girls got home they washed their hands, changed their clothes, and then sat on the sofa waiting for Echo and me to come out and greet them. Echo screamed during most of the meeting but the girls didn't seem to mind.
Every time we get ready to leave for a trip or get back from one I think about all of our tips and tricks that would probably help someone else out so, here they are! I did write a travel tips post in 2015 with some general tips but 4 years later we've added several more general ones plus lots of travel tips for kids. If you have any questions leave a comment and I'll get back to you!
Travel Early and Travel Often
It is easier to travel without kids, duh, but don't use kids as an excuse to not travel or to stop traveling if you liked traveling before kids. Just like anything else the more you do something the better you are at it. If I want to be a great piano player I can't expect to sit down once a year and play flawlessly. The same goes for traveling. In my experience, it is significantly easier to fly with a baby (0-6 months) that can't move and is content sitting on your lap than a toddler who just figured out how to walk. The more trips you can take while the baby is content just people watching the more practice you will have with traveling and you can get your systems figured out so when the baby turns into a toddler you are a more seasoned traveler and aren't as nervous about traveling.
Linnea getting on her first flight!
Linnea at 3 months old.
Linnea at 3.5 years old.
Linnea's first flight was when she was 3 months old and it was a 9-hour flight to Chicago. Go big or go home. Technically we were moving home. #badjoke Linnea flew at 3 months (international), 6 months, 8 months, 12 months (international), 14 months (international), 17 months, 22 months (international), 2 years old (international), etc. You get the picture. She traveled often which means we traveled often and got lots of practice and made lots of mistakes.
She has now flown internationally 12 times at 3.5 years old. Stella has 6 international flights under her belt before she turned 12 months old. Stella's first flight was also a 9-hour flight to Chicago. I wouldn't necessarily recommend that for your first flight but it seems to be our family tradition. If our family had to choose a long plane ride or car ride we would take a plane ride any day because we have our routines and know what to expect. My girls are not good in the car because they/we don't do it often which goes back to my point about practicing to get good at it.
General Travel Tips
Expect Delays and Hiccups
I don't like change and I really like things to go according to plan. I've realized I have a tendency to overreact to small things and underreact to big things. Jake jokes that he wishes 'travel Kara' would make more appearances than just on traveling days. Ha! Me too! Sure we have had flights without a single hiccup and we've even been upgraded to business class for free 3 times on our international leg! That is not the norm. Thankfully we've been through enough really long/rough flight delays and cancellations by ourselves that once we started traveling with kids we knew to expect them. One trip, in particular, our flight itinerary changed 5 times (numbers of flights, countries we were supposed to fly through, etc) before we finally got home. You cannot control delays or cancellations but you can control how you react even if you are frustrated.
Canceled or Delayed Flights - Go to the Check-In Desk
If your flight is canceled or delayed and that effects flights later on the airlines will rebook you (if your flights are connected which brings me back to being thoughtful about cheap tickets). We have had more weather delays going out of KC through Chicago than we can count so when that happens we've learned to leave the gate and go to the check-in counter. There are usually significantly more agents there than at the gate (which usually has one and a line of 10-15 people waiting). I usually leave Jake with all of our luggage and I leave the secured area and go back to the check-in counter with agents who handle rebooking more often and tend to be more helpful. Then if needed I can go back through security pretty quickly by myself without bags because they are with Jake.
In January, our incoming plane delayed our flight, made us miss our connecting flight, bumped us to the next day, then drones made us divert to another airport and then we called it a day to try again the next day. Sometimes traveling is way harder than it should be but we found a super helpful agent who called 5 hotels to find us one with a pack n play.
Chocolate Bar
Always have chocolate on hand. Instant mood booster for when you are delayed yet again or just tried from traveling. Plus then you can try chocolate from around the world and it saves you from buying expensive desserts that look way better than they taste.
Packing & Clothing
Packing Cubes
We heard about packing cubes and thought they were gimmicky. That is an incorrect assumption. Packing cubes are life-changing. We use them for everything. Yes, you can go on a trip without them but hear me out, they make organizing your stuff so much easier. If you need something in your bag you can quickly empty your bag or backpack and then open the one packing cube get out the item, close up the packing cube and then repack the backpack within seconds. You can also easily identify if you are missing something since everything has a place in your packing cube and backpack/bag.
This is what I packed for 9 days in Italy. 2 pairs of shoes, 1 medium packing cube (grey one) and a small packing cube (green one) plus a cardigan, rain jacket, and a scarf. It did get pretty cool a few nights and I borrowed my mother-in-law's fleece which was great. The red roll next to my backpack is an inflatable camping pillow. I used to travel with a full sized pillow so switching to this was a major space saver. Now I'm able to sleep on whatever pillow is provided. There is a chance I'm a little princess and the pea, just maybe.
This is what I packed for 8 days when we went to France and Spain.
Pre-kids we could travel for up to 9 days with just our backpacks (both Osprey) which included one medium packing cube, one small packing cube, and our bathroom bags. Backpacks are also great when traveling around a snowy location because you aren't dragging your luggage through snow or dragging them over cobblestone streets. Now we have more luggage but still, try to keep it minimal. If you can fly without checking a bag it also makes check-in and leaving the airport faster and you don't risk losing a bag.
We do pack one small packing cube for the first night we land after an international flight. That way we aren't opening all the packing cubes looking for pajamas. We pack everything we need for that night (or if we get stranded in a city on the way to our destination) in one packing cube which is in a carry on bag so we are good to go.
We usually can get all of the girls' clothes in one medium packing cube each and then one medium bag for miscellaneous items (swaddles, sleep sacks, swimming suits, etc).
We use a packing cube for Stella's diaper bag (and have been using this set up since Linnea was born).
Changing pad, 5 diapers plus diaper cream in the white and pink mesh bag, wipes, roll of plastic bags for dirty diapers or dirty clothes, plastic bag with medicine, bandaids and suckers, extra clothes for both girls and a toy strap which I also use to hold Stella into a high chair if the strap is missing. We will travel with this packing cube daily until Stella is out of diapers.
The diaper packing cube goes in my backpack when we fly as well as a packing cube with Stella's toys/snacks for entertainment on the plane. We also have an entertainment packing cube for Linnea with snacks, toys, crayons, coloring books, etc in Jake's backpack.
Pack At Least 2 Nights Ahead
I struggle with packing ahead of time but I noticed if I stayed up late the night before our trip packing then I'd go to bed late AND once I'm in bed my brain wouldn't shut down because it would keep going through the checklist. I'd rather stay up late 2 nights before the trip so the night before we leave I can go to bed at a reasonable time with a brain that isn't in overdrive. I'd also highly recommend a week before your trip to set aside the clothes you want to wear so you don't wear them that week and end up doing laundry last minute waiting for clothes to dry.
Packing Spreadsheet
If you know me at all you know that I love a good spreadsheet. We have a travel spreadsheet with a packing list, our itinerary and several other useful sheets. It is nice not having to reinvent the packing list with each trip. This helps us remember what to bring as well as where to put them in our backpacks.
Pack Light
This is SO hard for me. I am an over-packer and I love to be the person that everyone can count on to have that 'thing' they forgot. You know what else might have that thing? A store in the city you are visiting. Only pack the essentials that you need with the exception of medicine for kids (because no one wants to need ibuprofen and not have it at 1 am). Anything else you can get wherever you are traveling. And it is a great way to experience a city if you go to a local grocery store to buy everyday items.
Layers Are Your Friend
I typically bring 2 pairs of pants (or shorts, skirt, etc) and then several tops that go well together (some people re-wear tops but I just can't/don't like to do that) plus a cardigan and then a rain jacket. If we are traveling to a colder place I might bring a fleece and then a jacket to layer together for more warm plus gloves and a scarf.
Travel Day Outfit + Carryon Clothes
I pretty much wear the same thing for our travel days which includes slip-on shoes, short socks (because I don't like being hot but I have long socks in my bag in case I get cold on the plane) jeans, a t-shirt with a cardigan and a lightweight scarf (which I used more when I wasn't traveling with kids - I tend to be warmer than I used to probably from dealing with the girls and extra luggage). It can be a workout getting everyone to the gate with all of your stuff and I'd prefer to not be dripping in sweat before starting the flight so I definitely underdress on travel days.
I prefer jeans over black leggings/yoga pants because I want pockets for my phone, chapstick and boarding passes plus whatever else I'm trying to carry. I did buy a travel skirt a while back which has 5 pockets, built in shorts underneath and packs so well. That is my go-to when we are traveling (or just in general) in warmer months. I can't say enough great things about it! Always pack extra clothes for you and your kids in your carryon. If you get pooped on (which happens more when babywearing) or thrown up on you don't want to wear those clothes the whole flight especially on an international flight.
Pack Similar Colored Clothing & Laundry While Traveling
This one might sound weird but if you are going on a long trip, several weeks, I'd recommend packing 5-7 outfits that all wash well together so when you do laundry you don't have to do as many small loads. We did this our last trip to Kansas and only packed darks and pinks, no white or cream clothes, and it definitely helped with the laundry loads.
An added tip is to use a lingerie bag to wash your kids' socks in especially if you are traveling around a bit because losing one sock when you only bring 2-3 pairs is a pain.
One more tip about laundry while traveling is we have a designated laundry bag (a reusable Baggu bag) that all of our dirty laundry goes in until it is time to wash it. This helps keep the piles of clean vs dirty clothes that end up all over the floor a little more organized.
Unpack the Day You Land
Unpacking isn't fun but it usually doesn't take long. We now have a rule we have to unpack before we go to bed that night. If you don't it can sit around for a week or longer.
Jet Lag
Follow Timezones
As soon as you land start following your normal schedule according to that timezone. Do not play mind games by adding or subtracting time to figure out what time your body thinks it is. If it is 11:30 and you normally each lunch around then try to each some lunch even if you aren't hungry.
Linnea is on the jet lag struggle bus. We flew to Stockholm when she had roseola (3 days of a high fever that finally broke on the airplane when her body started developing a rash).
Sleep In/Nap Trap
Don't sleep in too late or take a 5-hour nap during the day. This is SO HARD not to do but the goal is to get your body adjusted so delayed gratification is your friend.
Discourage Playtime and Lights at Sleep Time
You/Your child will most likely wake up in the middle of the night for the first 3-4 days. You will be tempted to turn on the light to let them play and then go back to bed after a few hours, we try hard to treat bedtime just like we normally would especially while getting over jet lag. We do let Linnea look at books in the middle of the night the first few nights especially if we are all in the same room getting over jetlag. This helps her to not get frustrated that she can't play but it also keeps her quiet and reading helps her stay relaxed.
Pro tip - If your child can't actually read then make sure the books are ones they are familiar with. We made the mistake once of having Grandma bring books for her which was great but we wanted her to independently look at the books so we could keep sleeping but she didn't know any of the stories. Now we know better.
We do let Linnea or ourselves get out of bed on the first day of jet lag if someone wakes up early (4 am or later) if they've tried to go back to sleep and can't because your body thinks it is 11 am. Then we will let them stay up for the day but then nap at the normal time according to the timezone you are in. The nice thing about experiencing jet lag together is that if your child's body thinks it should be awake yours probably does too.
Super pro tip - if you are getting over jetlag with friends or family pick the set that tends to wake up early to be with first then you'll get to spend extra time with them without feeling like you are waking the whole house up. We got over jet lag this last time with Jake's family who are early risers so they got lots of early morning fun in with the girls and we could also send them over and we could keep sleeping if we were able to go back to sleep.
Jetlag in Separate Rooms
I would highly recommend spreading out while getting over jetlag. Our first 2 trips back this year we were all in the same room and it ended up that I would nurse Stella back to sleep to keep everyone else asleep and that resulted in her unsleep training herself and waking up once or twice per night for a month. The last trip home both girls were in separate rooms and it was AMAZING!
Takes 3-4 Days
In our experience, it takes 3-4 days to get over jetlag. Have patience and grace but try not to develop any bad habits in those 3-4 days that you'll have to break (like letting your kid watch a movie at 2 am).
On The Plane
Never See the Other Passengers Again
I'm guessing most people are concerned about getting on a flight and their child screaming the whole way. That has not happened on any flight I've ever been on with my kids or any other kids. But the good news is the flight will eventually land and it won't last forever. And if your kid does scream the whole way you most likely won't see those other passengers again.
Since becoming a mom there has only been one flight when I was about to lose it on another parent. Her child screamed a lot but the problem was the mom seemed uninterested in helping her child not scream. We didn't see her offer him toys, snacks, candy, a screen, nothing. I get that you might have high parenting standards and that is great but for the love at least try something with your kid. If you are trying and they are still screaming then at least you tried. And if you are flying without kids and someone is screaming put in earplugs and be thankful you don't have to figure out how to get the kid quiet or worry about them keeping your kids awake.
Let Content Kids Be
Plan enough activities to get you through your flight or have an idea of what you will have your kids do. Depending on the age 10-30 minutes per activity but if after 30 minutes they are still into it DON'T ask them to switch to something else! Let them be. I'd start with the least engaging/special activity and save the more exciting ones for last.
Entertainment Bag
Our entertainment bag is a small packing cube with activities. We now have one for Linnea and one for Stella. Stella's had lift-the-flap board books, yogurt bites, cheerios, two or 3 toys she could chew on, and the toy strap. We have a toy strap that we used so that toys didn't constantly hit the airplane/restaurant floor and you can use it on the stroller so toys don't get tossed without your knowledge.
Small board books are the best because they take up less space and if you can get lift-the-flap ones then that give kids something extra to do. These are some of the things we brought on our last trip. Stacking cups are also great and don't take up much space but can roll around on an airplane.
Linnea's packing cube has paperback books, paper, sticker books, coloring books, crayons in the shape of flowers so they don't roll, stickers, dot stickers (I use lots of Busy Toddler Activities), pull back car, Water Wow, whiteboard markers, a deck of cards, writing tablet, etc. Linnea also has headphones and a tablet with Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street episodes.
The white piece of paper with dot stickers on it is made up on the spot. I can write letters on the paper and Linnea will match the dot sticker with the same letter (or capital and lower case) or I'll write numbers on the paper and dots on the dot sticker and she'll match them. Just get creative.
Suckers
I personally like suckers because they last a long time and they stay in their mouths versus Linnea taking snacks out of a bowl and then touching things on the airplane and then grabbing snacks again. Plus all that sucking on the sucker keeps her quiet :) (which is also handy if parents need to talk/think and are at a store . . . ). A sucker could also be great in the security line when there is a lot of waiting around and you don't want kids pulling on the security ropes or running over people with your suitcase.
Screen Time
Some parents let kids have a free for all with screen time on a plane and my best advice is do what is best for your family. We definitely let Linnea have significantly more screen time on a plane than in real life but we don't start with screen time. She has to do other activities first. We've noticed her willingness to listen and her attitude gets worse the longer she is exposed to a screen so we don't let her have a free for all. On short flights (1-2 hours) we don't usually get it out unless it has been a long travel day. She does watch Mr. Rogers, Sesame Street and there is one educational app called Star Fall that she can play. She prefers to watch shows she has already seen. I'm guessing the loud airplane makes it kind of hard to hear the shows.
International flights typically have screens on the back of the seat in front of you but some long domestic flights to Hawaii from the US don't even though the flight is long, so check with the airline before flying. Several airlines nowadays let you watch shows if you have downloaded their app which you will need to do before you get up in the air.
Snacks
Bring lots of snacks. No one wants to get hungry while traveling and snacks are entertaining.
Kid Tips
Hiccups with Kids Before Flights
I haven't had great luck with Linnea being healthy and flights but sometimes it is a blessing in disguise. If she doesn't feel good she often has less energy and falls asleep easier than she would normally which is great when traveling. At 12 months old, she got roseola days before our flight to Stockholm (3 days of high fever which then broke and she got a rash all over her body while we were in the air over the Atlantic ocean). But she also fell asleep before we took off and we woke her up when we landed. She slept the ENTIRE 9-hour flight. We got lots of compliments on that flight. She has also traveled with or right after croup, hand foot, and mouth and went to the ER the day before a flight because she 'swallowed' a rock. Make sure you have some travel health insurance as well just in case! Ours is covered in our rental insurance policy.
Early Boarding
Most airlines let families board early which is great but we realized that often means being in our seats longer than we should. So this last trip we decided Jake would board early with as many bags as he could while I stayed back with the girls. This allowed him to get settled and make sure our bags were close to our seats in the overhead bins. Then he would wipe down the armrests, trays, seats, etc with a disinfecting wipe before we got on board. I would encourage the girls to run (or crawl) and we would board as late as possible to minimize our time in our seats. We were worried the gate attendant wouldn't let Jake on without kids but so far that hasn't been an issue.
Baby Wearing
You can wear a baby in a carrier through security and then they will most likely swab your hands. If you carry a baby you can walk through without having your hands swabbed. No idea why there is a difference.
Before we bought our travel stroller we took a trip to California with our Ergo 360 baby carrier. It worked but it was definitely a workout carrying Linnea everywhere.
Our babies sleep best in a crib by themselves which is not what you will find on an airplane. So we use the carrier to strap them down to us and with some shushing and bouncing, they usually fall asleep without much trouble.
For some stupid reason, you cannot wear the baby for taking off and landing. I feel like someone who has never flown with a baby made that rule. I'm guessing they think it is safer to not have the baby strapped to you in an emergency. They have clearly never tried to do anything while holding a baby. In an emergency, I'd rather know my baby was strapped to my chest while I had both hands free.
Daytime Vs Nighttime Flights
This is just personal preference but we prefer to fly internationally at night if possible. I would rather try to get my kids to sleep on a plane and hope that they do for 4-6 hours then entertain them during a daytime flight that lasts 9 hours. Do what you think is best for your family and if it doesn't go well then try it the other way next time.
Travel Stroller
We bought a travel stroller, BabyZen Yoyo, that came highly recommended by a friend. It is ridiculously expensive especially if you don't travel much. Do I regret our purchase? Nope. It is one of the only strollers on the market that you can carry onto an airplane so it doesn't get gate checked which means it doesn't get tossed around and potentially broken. It is also great if you need to run through an airport or if your luggage gets lost your stroller won't because it is with you. Some airlines will tell you that it won't fit onboard but it will. If it is a smaller airline we just pack it up before we get to the gate and then they don't even know it is a stroller.
Linnea figured out we actually have a 'double stroller'.
Kid Suitcase
Our trip to Kansas this Christmas was the first time Linnea had her 'own' suitcase. It was a smaller rolling bag. We packed all of our back up clothes in that bag as well as all of the liquids that needed to be taken out at security which was Linnea's responsibility. Giving Linnea a job was one of the best decisions. She wanted to be included and to help and this was actually helpful. I put all of the food, formula, and medicine in one large gallon Ziploc bag in the front pocket of the rolling suitcase and Linnea could open it and put it in a bin when we went through security. This helped her feel like she was contributing (because she was) and gave us a few seconds to unload our backpacks.
Baby carrier, travel stroller, rolling kid suitcase, moving sidewalk entertainment.
Pack plenty of diapers, wipes and baby foods. You would think airports would have these items but they usually don't and you don't want to run out of any of them while traveling. We usually keep 5 diapers and extra clothes in the diaper packing cube and then more clothes and diapers in our rolling carryon bag and then more diapers in our checked back just in case we get really delayed.
Medicine
I would definitely encourage you to pack light but I wouldn't travel without baby ibuprofen and a thermometer. If your child wakes up screaming in the middle of the night you'll most likely want one or both of those things. I always carry on some basic over the counter medicine for me (pain reliever, allergy meds) and I never leave home without nasal spray because trying to sleep or function with a stuffed up nose is just awful.
Talk through Expectations
When Linnea was really little (1 year old) we talked about flying on an airplane and sleeping on daddy for a few weeks before our trip. Then she knew what we expected. We still do this with her. We will talk about her playing with things in her entertainment bag before getting to watch a show. Or that if the flight is short she won't watch a show.
Linnea at 12 months old and she did a great job on the flights. The roseola 3-day fever definitely help her be more cuddly!
Baby Gear
If you plan on traveling a lot invest in good baby gear. A good hiking backpack, a comfortable baby carrier, travel crib, travel stroller, etc. We also have something called In the Pocket Baby which is a travel 'high chair' that attaches to almost any chair and turns it into a high chair. We used it with Linnea when we traveled to California, Florida and a few other places when we weren't sure if they had a high chair. It is great and made in Sweden.
Here is the In The Pocket baby on a chair at a restaurant.
Pop Up Tent
We have used a pop-up tent a few times for the girls to sleep in when we didn't have a pack n play available because it packs up small enough to fit in our suitcase. You can also use it on the beach.
I bought all of these on Amazon and personally, I liked the white and blue one best. It had the most room and the most mesh so it didn't get as hot but a friend who let us borrow one ended up giving us theirs so that is what Linnea is sleeping in below.
They fold up nice and small and then you can either put blankets under the tent to make it soft or bring an inflatable camping mattress to use for padding.
Linnea was 8 months old in this picture. She did roll the tent but it still kept her contained.
International Flights
Long Flight Tip
If possible, make your long flight as long as you can so your other flight is as short as it can be. We prefer to fly Stockholm to Chicago (9 hours) and then Chicago to KC (1:30). We've also done Stockholm to Newark (8:30) and then Newark to KC (3:00). So the long flight is 30 minutes shorter but then you have a 3-hour flight instead of an hour and a half. A 3-hour flight feels significantly longer than a 1:30 flight.
Long Flight Schedules
Here is the typical schedule on a long flight. After taking off you'll be served beverages and then 'dinner' which is your biggest meal. That whole process takes 1.5-2 hours so if your flight is 9 hours total the first 2 hours is dinner which leaves you 7 hours for the rest of the flight to sleep . . . except for 1-1.5 hours, before you land, they will serve you breakfast. So the actual 'night time' when you can sleep on a 9-hour international flight is actually 5.5 hours if you are super focused but still choose to eat. Some people board and sleep right away and don't eat dinner or breakfast. So in the scenario from above, if your long flight is only 8:30 the 30 minutes less is actually less sleep time.
Long Haul Flight Perks
If you are flying internationally ask your airline what perks they might have for kids and babies. We only fly SAS back to the US if possible so I know their perks best. They offer a baby bassinet which is a bed that hooks into the bulkhead so you can lay the baby down and free up your lap and arms. It is free but you do have to request it because there are only 2 in economy available. Stella used one at 10 weeks, 14 weeks, 6 months (two ways) and 11 months (which she barely fit). There is a weight limit and a height limit.
Here is the bassinet which is on the bulkhead and out of the way.
You can also order baby food and a kid meal but you have to request them before 24 hours before your flight. For a lap child, you can check one piece of luggage on their ticket which is nice but you don't get any extra cabin baggage for them which is stupid. Who can take a long flight with no bag for a baby? We usually bring two backpacks (one for Jake and I), Linnea's backpack and either a duffle bag or a rolling suitcase with our back up clothes for accidents or if we get stranded while traveling so we are covered but it is still annoying.
Fly Tot, Plane Pal, Inflatable Pillow
There are different inflatable pillows you can buy that extend the seat so your child can lay down flat to sleep on the flight. We've never used one until our last trip to the US. Linnea was 3.5 and we used a fly tot. There are some airlines that don't allow them and the ones that do have rules (like you can't block the aisle). It was great. It definitely takes up space in the carryon bag but it was nice to not have her sleeping on one of us.
Plane Configurations Matter
A plane with seat configurations of 2 seats by 4 seats by 2 seats (two aisles to walk up and down) feels SO MUCH bigger than 3 seats by 3 seats. We will not fly on a 3 seats by 3 seats international flight if we can help it.
Be Thoughtful About "Cheap Tickets"
Sometimes people find a great deal where they can fly to Europe for $250 roundtrip but it is out of Dallas or some other city that is an 8-hour drive from where they live. That's great but remember you have to get there either by driving or another plane ticket. And if you have separate tickets that aren't all linked and there is a delay or issue with one leg of the journey you won't be automatically rebooked. Plus add in extra costs like driving 8 hours, a possible hotel stay, etc and pretty soon you are at $500-700 for the ticket and doing a lot of extra work. The cheapest flight we've gotten to and from Stockholm was $450 roundtrip per ticket. I'd say our average price is $600-700 but can be $2200 over Christmas if you don't book early.
Your Time is also Worth Money and Sanity
This last trip to the US we flew into Wichita which added $400 to our expenses but coming in at Christmas time and schedules being tight we didn't want to fly in to KC and then waste time driving that day (after a LONG travel day) or the next day when we'd be jet lagged. We did opt to fly out of KC on the way home to save $400 and as we were making our way back up to KC from Wichita for the flight we both kind of wished we would have just paid $400 to not have to pack up our stuff AGAIN to stay one more night before flying back to Stockholm.
Neck Pillow
I just recently brought a neck pillow for overnight flights. It is helpful but it isn't 100% necessary. You have to decide if lugging it around and having it take up space in your bag is worth it. I see lots of people with neck pillows and I used to think it wasn't worth it. Now that we travel as much as we do I'm ready to give it a try but only on international flights. You won't see me traveling with one on a short flight.
I hope these tips were helpful. Let me know if you have any questions! Happy traveling!
