Otto is 5 Months Old!

Dear Otto Avocado,

You really have several nicknames although I usually say 'Hey, Buddy' most of the time.  This month was all about you developing a hernia, your first ER visit and then you having surgery and being put under for the first time.  We (and by we I mean me because your dad stays at home with the rest of the gang whenever it happens) have now stayed in the hospital overnight with all 3 kids.  Stella wins the prize for the earliest stay (2 weeks old for rsv) and the longest stay (1 week for rsv).  Linnea wins the prize for being the first kid to be put to sleep (at age 4.5) for falling on her ear at preschool and her ear filling up with blood.  We didn't have long to anticipate/worry about that surgery as we found out it needed to happen and then it happened 8 hours later.  You win the prize for being put under at the earliest age (almost 5 months old).

Arm Rolls

Stats
You weighed 7.16 kg (15 lbs 12.5 oz) which is in the 31st percentile.  You were 65.9 cm (25.9 inches) long which is in the 32nd percentile. Your head is 43.1 cm (16.9 inches) around which is in the 53rd percentile.

Eating
You are still eating 6 times per day (which is 2 more than your sisters got according to the Baby Sleep Solution book).  You haven't tried solid foods yet but you will this next month.

As everyone in the hospital noted, you apparently like to eat. Your cheeks and arm rolls give that away.

Sleeping
This month you got into a few bad habits of waking up between 19-23.  After your hernia, I didn't want you to cry much because that could make it pop out so I would feed you if you woke up, and then I think you got used to those extra snacks.  It wasn't too much of a problem until you started waking up between 23-7 and that is when I said enough was enough. Ha!

Putting daddy to sleep.

Your dad is asleep here. I swear he can fall asleep anywhere which is why he is usually the one up in the middle of the night because the overall amount of sleep lost by him is so little compared to me who is often awake 1-1.5 hrs after being woken up.

Otto Waking Up

Clothes
You are wearing size 62 and 68 tops and mostly 62 bottoms.  You have some 6-month pjs and a few 9-month pjs.  You didn't use to leak out of your diapers when you were an infant but now you leak ALL THE TIME! We moved you up from size 3 diapers to size 4 and then size 5. You often would get poop all up your back and all over your pajamas.  There are days when you go through 3-4 outfits which is super annoying.

Playtime
You are playing with toys more which is fun to see.

Your favorite activity is still sister watching. They are nuts and very entertaining so I don't blame you.

We've been doing lots of side-lying on your left side to help with the flat spot on your right side.

You took a break from lots of tummy time with your hernia but still do lots of it throughout the day.  I thought you'd be trying to grab your feet and roll from your back to your belly but I think your chubby legs get in the way.

Our Days
Our days are still pretty routine and are based on your eating and sleeping times. It is funny, I've realized I don't like to be out of the house during your naptimes because you sleep so well in your crib and then I can get stuff done, take a nap, workout, etc.  But I also don't like being out when you are awake because I want you to be having tummy time.  So that means, I basically never leave the house nowadays.  Add Covid, social distancing and the fact that we FINALLY have a snowy winter, and we've literally have been outside with the stroller maybe 2-3 times this month.

I have been enjoying the snowy view while I drink my coffee.

It has been really nice that your dad is working from home because in the afternoons when I go to get your sisters I can leave you napping in your crib and not have to push your stroller through the snow and up the hill to get them.  Your dad won't have that luxury when I'm at work and he is on parental leave but there also shouldn't be much snow next fall :).

I feel like the main thing that takes up our days is trying to get your neck stretched on your tight side (your right side) and strengthened on your left side.  I'm kicking myself for not trying to get a physical therapy referral right after you were born. Your dad noticed it while we were still in the hospital just after you were born but I assumed it would straighten out a bit once you were outside of me.  We didn't start physical therapy until you were 9 weeks old and there is some improvement but still a ways to go.

Some blue tape to help engage your muscles and remind us to strengthen this side.

Watching Rocky helps keep your neck strong.

Activities and Outings

We played Minute to Win It with my side of the family on December 26th. It was really fun.

Jake also made Pippi's Gingerbread house with the girls before they went back to school after Christmas.

The bird feeder from Uncle Bob has been such a fun gift. It took about 2 weeks for the birds to find the feeder but now we have visitors daily and love watching them eat.

Your main activity and outing this month was your hernia ER visit with a follow-up surgery 2 weeks later.  On Friday, Jan 8th we were giving baths and you were fussy. It was later than normal bath time and I assumed you were tired.  Then I was worried the water was too warm. As we were trying to cool off the water I was holding you kind of funny and you were crying.  We quickly finished the bath but you continued to cry/fuss.  I assumed it was because you were tired and hungry since it was bedtime.

I got you dressed and took you into your room to eat before bed.  You got impatient with the milk let down and started crying and then once the milk was there you refused to eat. You screamed/cried for about 15 minutes and I couldn't get you to settle down. I took you back into the bathroom to check your diaper and body. I've heard of babies getting hair twisted around a toe and it cutting off circulation. I noticed your legs were red when I took your pjs off. Then I took off your diaper and found a bulge in your groin and quickly knew something was wrong. 

We called 1177 which is the national healthcare line. We were speaking to a nurse within 30 seconds. You enter in your personal number (like a social security number) and I think the younger the child the sooner they are bumped up in the line). She told us to go to the ER since we couldn't settle you and found a lump.  I quickly packed snacks, a charger, and a few other things in case we were there overnight. I've been stranded at the hospital twice and have finally learned that valuable lesson to take 5 extra minutes to have a few things just in case.

Thankfully the ER was empty and we were checked in and taken back within a minute upon arriving.  On the way to the hospital, I texted a few friends and called Alyssa who used to be a pediatric nurse to get her perspective. She said she thought it could be a hernia.  The nurses and doctor confirmed it was a hernia. You got an iv to get some morphine later and also got Tylenol.  The doctor came in to examine you and he pushed the hernia back in (without morphine) and you immediately stopped crying and then peed on us.

They told me you'd need surgery to repair it in the next week or two and that if it popped out again I'd have to push it back in.  If I couldn't get it back in I'd have to come back to the hospital.  We stayed for observation for a little while and then when we were about to go home you started crying again and it felt like you had another small bulge. The surgeon came back down and pushed some fluid back in (which was audible).  We waited a few more minutes, they removed the unused IV and then headed home.

It's funny, I've been much more anxious this postpartum period.  Mostly worried about the girls falling and getting hurt and sending us to the ER.  But when I was actually on the way to the ER I was mostly calm. I was able to think through things and be rational. While at the ER I was also calm and felt well cared for.

I've been talking to my counselor about my anxiety and our trip to the ER. It has been interesting to process.  I tend to handle big crises fairly well but I still get anxious about little things that might/could happen. 

About a week after your hernia popped out the first time it happened again. You were crying and I could tell you were in pain. I calmly walked into the bathroom and told Jake I thought your hernia popped out. He asked how he could help and I asked him to take the girls out of the bathroom. I didn't want extra noise/chaos while I was trying to pop it back in. Jake walked back in and I was pretty much done. He commented that I was so calm and rational about the hernia when a few days ago I had flipped out about burning bacon in our new pan.

I told him I felt like my response was the same for both situations but his response was different.  With the hernia, he immediately asked how he could help and was super attentive.  With the burning bacon, he dismissed my concerns and didn't understand why I was worried/stressed.  I explained that with the hernia I knew what to do because the doctor trained me and since Jake didn't know what to do I knew I had to step up and do it.  One thing I like about counseling is just the reflection and processing I've done with myself before and during sessions. I also realize that a hernia and burning bacon probably should have equal responses but for me it seems like they do.

I feel like I respond at the same level about most situations. Like a steady line but Jake is the one who fluctuates which then makes my reactions seem like an over or underreaction.  His perspective is that his reactions are the same and I fluctuate. There is probably fluctuation on both sides.  Just interesting to think about.

The surgery was Thursday, Jan 21st with an appointment the day before.  You were supposed to fast 4 hours before surgery and your surgery was supposed to be 10 am but there was a chance the person before you would have to cancel so we had to plan on you fasting from 4 am in case you went back at 8 for surgery. I fed you an extra feed before my bedtime at 23 and then again at 330 am. We got to the hospital at 7 and weren't seen until 830. I was annoyed but he was safe, we were well taken care of. The surgery will likely not cost anything (because health care for kids is free) and I needed to chill.

It looks like I'm giving this nurse the side-eye but she was really kind and helpful.

Right when you were ready for a morning nap they took off your lidocaine bandages used to help with the iv. It took 3 IV tries before successfully putting one in.  You were then given some meds to relax you which was nice and helped you nap right when you were getting fussy/hungry.

We weren't sure if Jake could come to the hospital because of Covid but they allow both parents during the daytime which was nice. I was really thankful he was there to help distract Otto when he got his IV. Isn't his hospital gown adorable?

I feel like you are saying "Yay! I have both parents to myself, finally!"

Starting to get fussy . . .

Oh, they gave me meds . . . I might be starting to feel it.

Man down.

You were taken down around 1130. Only one parent is allowed in the operation and recovery rooms. I took you back into the operating room. I had done this before with Linnea so I knew what to expect but it is still nerve-wracking. I put on a gown and hairnet and went into the OR. I laid you on a table with heated air flowing through a pad. You were fussy but not too bad. Then a dr gave you some morphine and then the medicine to make you fall asleep.  The doctor said it can be kind of emotional seeing someone put to sleep because it happens quickly. It was quick and then they immediately ushered me out. I thought the procedure would be 30-45 minutes but you were there for 3.5 hours.

Jake and I grabbed lunch, coffee and fika. It was our first time alone without kids since you were born and I wish I could say we fully enjoyed it. I was nervous and looking at the clock the whole time but I'm thankful your dad was there with me.

They called me at 15 to come down to the recovery room. Your dad left to go pick up your sisters.

It took you about 50 minutes until you woke up and then you nursed so it had been 12 hours since you last ate.  You either slept, ate or fussed before eating for the next several hours.  We ended up staying the night in the hospital because you were still so sleepy.  You also didn't pee for about 6-7 hours and as they were doing an ultrasound on your bladder you peed.  You slept great from midnight until 630/7.  

Thankfully my two hospital stays helped me know what to expect this time around. I knew to bring snacks for myself, a noise machine, a long charging cable plus a battery pack. I brought several different options for outfits for you which you didn't end up wearing since you were in a hospital gown.  The hospital provides breakfast for the parents but you have to pay for lunch and dinner. You were healthy enough that I could wheel you down in your stroller to grab myself breakfast. With Stella when she was on the CPAP machine I had to have breakfast delivered. I had dinner delivered when you stayed overnight because you wouldn't let me put you down.

Otto 2 days after surgery.

Meanwhile back at home Jake is with these crazies!

We've been trying to be better at regular game nights with Johan and Chelsea. They came over and we had a great time and all 5 kids slept. 5 kids. That is insane!

Firsts and New Skills
Your first tooth popped through on your 5th month birthday!  That could have been some of the waking up you did between your hernia and surgery when I was nursing you extra to help you not cry too much.

Sister & Brother Moments
Your sisters still love you. Stella gets so excited when you touch her or grab her hand.

A trolley ride in the morning.

Reading to Otto

Sisters!

Life with 3 Kids

Your dad took your sisters' sledding and met up with two other dads and their kids who live in our building. I love the equal parenting that Swedes do here.

Linnea loves hugging you and kissing you. She often asks if she can give you a gentle 'after eating hug'.

Linnea New Skills

Linnea is still very into Legos. Recently she's been helping your dad build his Star Wars Cantina set.

She also folds her clothes after I do the laundry.  The other day she wanted to hang up all of my shirts and put them in the closet. It was so helpful!

One morning we found her getting breakfast ready for herself and for Stella.  The chocolate on the counter is from Mom and Dad's snack the night before.

She lost her second tooth after she went down the hill and accidentally bonked her head on daddy's back.

She loves to sleep with lots of things in her bed.

Linnea started to learn how to read this month. We started by listening to a song that helps with letter sounds.  Then I bought some early reader books and she took a class 4 days a week for a month. She has made a lot of progress.  She also wrote these words on her own at school. 

We read through the Storybook Bible starting in December and on the night of the last story Linnea prayed and asked Jesus into her heart. It was the sweetest conversation with her. I pray that I am able to lead her well and realize I don't need to be perfect.

Linnea Funnies/Quotes

While folding laundry with Linnea I said daddy folded some of her socks. She said, "wow mommy, you picked a great husband." I agree sweet girl.

This girl loves fun, adventure and just being silly.

Stella New Skills

Stella loves the kinetic sand she got for Christmas.

As well as the face paint.

Stella wanted her own box pic!

Stella Funnies/Quotes

Jake and Stella playing. Jake stepped out of the room. Stella comes out and says "Daddy come, you don't believe what I messed up in there."

One morning after working out I got in bed to read before getting Otto up from his nap and Stella decided to join me. I also tried to nap a bit which was a little difficult with her climbing all over me.

We told Stella she couldn't have some candy. So she tried to solve that problem on her own. She is a determined little girl.

Stella Getting Jelly Beans

Stella's Eyebrows!

Remember

I want to remember the relief I felt when you woke up after your surgery. And how normal you acted about 12 hours later.

You falling asleep on me almost daily right before your afternoon naptime is my very favorite thing ever and I never want that nursing session to change.

You are sweet, happy, and smiley and I can't believe you are here and ours. I'm so thankful I get to be your mama.

Love,

Your Mama